By: David Hogan, Editor-In-Chief
Every now and then, Facebook drops a truth grenade right into your morning coffee.
Today was one of those days.
A buddy of mine posted something raw and honest — basically wrestling with the feeling that he’s spent nearly four decades helping people who never said thank you. Not once. Not even a lousy thumbs-up emoji. And after all that time, nothing changed. Not the people. Not the gratitude levels. Not the feeling of being overlooked.
And man… that hit me.
Because he’s not wrong — it is crazy how fast life can change while people somehow stay exactly the same.
But it also got me thinking about something deeper: why do we give? Why do we serve? Why do we keep showing up when appreciation isn’t even on the menu?
Turns out, Jesus had a lot to say about that.
Gratitude Is Good — But Not the Goal
Gratitude matters. It lifts the giver, shapes the receiver, and strengthens relationships. It’s biblical and beautiful.
But it’s not the point.
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus…”
Colossians 3:17
We don’t serve for applause.
We serve because we belong to Jesus.
We serve because it shapes our character, not because it boosts our ego.
We serve because someone else once served us — the One who owed us nothing but gave us everything.
Gratitude is a blessing, not a requirement.
Giving in the Dark
Sometimes giving feels pointless when nobody notices — but Jesus flips that upside down. He teaches us that unseen generosity isn’t wasted… it’s worship.
“But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing…”
Matthew 6:3
Jesus literally says: give in a way that even you forget about it.
Give so quietly that the thank-you doesn’t even have a place to land.
Give because giving is part of who you are — not because someone noticed.
Christ doesn’t just teach us to give.
He teaches us to give without strings attached.
That’s grace.
When You Feel Invisible
Being underappreciated hurts. I’m not pretending it doesn’t.
You give your time, your energy, your patience, your heart — and people treat it like Amazon Prime: fast delivery, guaranteed returns, zero gratitude.
But here’s the truth:
You were never invisible to God.
Every act of kindness.
Every time you showed up when nobody else did.
Every moment you gave even when you felt empty.
He saw it.
“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him…”
Hebrews 6:10
People might forget.
People might not change.
People might never say thank you.
But God does not miss a thing.
Give According to YOUR Heart
At the end of the day, giving isn’t about who they are — it’s about who you’re becoming.
Your giving shapes you.
Your kindness trains you.
Your generosity strengthens your heart, not theirs.
You don’t give to keep people happy.
You give to keep your heart soft.
You give because your Father gave first.
“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion…”
2 Corinthians 9:7
Your heart is the thermostat.
Their gratitude is irrelevant.
Giving Isn’t Easy
Giving isn’t always easy, and it certainly isn’t always about money. Sometimes it’s your time, your energy, your patience, your Saturday afternoon, or the last ounce of peace you had in your emotional tank. God didn’t call us to follow Christ because it would make our lives simpler. Honestly, if “easy” were the standard, Jesus Himself wouldn’t have signed off on the job description — that whole crucifixion thing worked out pretty rough for Him.
But we’re called to be like Christ not for comfort, but for closeness — closeness to Him.
And sometimes that calling feels like you’re robbing your own family to help someone who will never appreciate it. Sometimes it feels unfair. Sometimes it feels like obedience should come with a coupon for gratitude, or at least a “thanks, man.”
But giving has never been about the appreciation.
It’s always been about the obedience.
Obedience shapes your heart.
Obedience brings you closer to God.
Obedience forms Christ in you — even when not a single person around you notices.
Where Giving Ends and Grace Begins
Giving isn’t always easy, and it certainly isn’t always about money. Sometimes it’s your time, your energy, your patience, your Saturday afternoon, or the last ounce of peace you had in your emotional tank. God didn’t call us to follow Christ because it would make our lives simpler. Honestly, if “easy” were the standard, Jesus Himself wouldn’t have signed off on the job description — that whole crucifixion thing worked out pretty rough for Him.
But we’re called to be like Christ not for comfort, but for closeness — closeness to Him.
And sometimes that calling feels like you’re robbing your own family to help someone who will never appreciate it. Sometimes it feels unfair. Sometimes it feels like obedience should come with a coupon for gratitude, or at least a “thanks, man.”
But giving has never been about the appreciation.
It’s always been about the obedience.
Obedience shapes your heart.
Obedience brings you closer to God.
Obedience forms Christ in you — even when not a single person around you notices.
Where Giving Ends and Grace Begins
Now that we’ve talked about giving and gratitude — or the frustrating lack thereof — we need to talk about grace. Because if giving tests our obedience, grace tests our heart.
Grace is a wild thing. It’s lopsided. Unfair. Beautifully reckless in how it pours out without checking the “return on investment.” Grace doesn’t need applause. Grace doesn’t keep receipts. Grace isn’t a transaction — it’s a reflection of God’s heart.
We think gratitude fuels us… but honestly? It doesn’t. Grace does.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8
Christ didn’t wait for us to get our act together, clean up our mess, or finally say “thank you.”
He went first.
He gave first.
He loved first.
And He did it knowing billions would never appreciate it.
But grace doesn’t stop at what God gives us — it continues in what we’re called to give others. And here’s where things get uncomfortable: grace means offering someone what they don’t deserve… including a pass for forgetting to say thank you.
You never really know what someone else is carrying. Maybe they meant to say thank you and didn’t get the chance. Maybe they appreciated you deeply but didn’t have the words. Maybe their whole life is a storm you can’t see. Maybe — just maybe — they’re doing the best they can with the tools they have.
And before we pretend we’ve never slipped up, every one of us can look back on a moment when we didn’t thank someone who blessed us. We weren’t ungrateful — we were exhausted, overwhelmed, distracted, or unaware.
Grace is for those moments.
Grace stands in the gap between intention and action.
People should say thank you.
They should return their carts at the grocery store.
They should pull over for the ambulance behind them screaming its lungs out on the siren — because someone’s life really might depend on it.
But even when they don’t, just as God pours grace over us — grace we absolutely did not earn — we’re called to extend that same grace outward.
Because who knows?
Tomorrow might be the day you’re the one who forgets to thank the person who just gave you their last dollar.
Grace received becomes grace offered.
That’s how the Kingdom works.
Conclusion
Gratitude is wonderful — when it happens.
But grace?
Grace shows up whether anybody deserves it or not.
We don’t give for recognition.
We don’t serve to be seen.
We don’t love to be thanked.
We do all of that because it’s who Jesus is shaping us to be.
The world changes fast.
People don’t always change with it.
But you?
That’s a different story.
You can choose to keep giving — not because they’re grateful, but because God is good.
Closing Prayer
Father, help us give with Your heart. Teach us to serve without expecting applause, to love without keeping score, and to walk in grace the way Jesus walked toward us — freely, generously, joyfully. Heal the places in us that feel overlooked, and remind us that You see everything we pour out. Give us strength to keep loving well, even when no one claps for it.
Amen.
Call to Action
This week, do one quiet, unseen act of kindness — the kind that can’t be repaid and won’t be applauded.
Give it freely.
Give it secretly.
Give it from your heart.
And let God handle the gratitude part.
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