Have you ever met a jerk?

I use the word jerk because the one in my mind is definitely not safe for work—or church. But of course you have. We all have. I’m not talking about genuinely evil people, just the everyday jerks. The guy who cuts you off in traffic, then has the audacity to throw YOU a single-finger salute.

Now, if you’re anything like me, your first instinct is not exactly prayer and blessings. It’s more like “Lord, if You could just give me five minutes and look the other way…” But after a moment (and maybe some deep breathing), I start thinking about the man behind the bird.

In his book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, John Koenig defines the word sonder as:

“The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries, and inherited craziness…”

That one hits hard. Because when I think about that difficult person—whether I can remember the fancy word or not—I’m reminded of something important:

I have no idea what’s going on in their life.

Maybe they just got a devastating phone call.
Maybe they just lost their job.
Maybe they didn’t even realize they cut me off.
Or maybe—I hate to say it—maybe I was actually the jerk, and I just didn’t notice.

The truth is, I have no clue what they’re carrying. But I do know what I can do: offer grace.

Grace for the Everyday Jerk

Grace is one of those things we love receiving but struggle giving—especially when we feel wronged. But Jesus made it clear: grace isn’t optional for us.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Ephesians 4:32

This doesn’t mean we just brush everything off with a Southern-style “aww, bless his heart.” No, I mean real grace—the kind that prays for that person honestly. Because let’s be real, if I’ve ever been angry enough to throw my own road-rage salute, I was probably in desperate need of grace and understanding myself.

But What About the Truly Bad People?

Now, what about the person who isn’t just having a bad day—but is actually mean, cruel, or even evil? Do we still pray for them?

Yes. Yes, we do.

Remember Saul? The man who hunted down Christians for sport? Yeah, God turned him into Paul, one of the greatest missionaries of all time.

“Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’”

Acts 9:1-4

In one moment, Saul the persecutor became Paul the preacher. That’s the power of grace and redemption.

Remember King Solomon? He started off as the wisest man on earth, but let his wealth, power, and many wives turn his heart away from God.

“Although he forbade Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the Lord’s command. So the Lord said to Solomon, ‘Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates.’”

1 Kings 11:10-11

Yet, later in life, Solomon seems to have realized his mistakes. The book of Ecclesiastes reads like a man reflecting on his regrets, realizing that all his power, wisdom, and wealth meant nothing without God.

“Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.”

Ecclesiastes 12:13

It’s as if Solomon is looking back on all the foolishness and sin of his later years and finally getting his priorities straight. Even after straying so far, he understood that nothing mattered more than obedience to God.

Remember Matthew the Tax Collector? Back in Jesus’ time, tax collectors were basically legalized thieves. They overcharged people and pocketed the extra money—betraying their own people for personal gain. And yet, Jesus walked up to Matthew’s tax booth and simply said, “Follow me.”

“As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. ‘Follow me,’ he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.”

Matthew 9:9

That’s it. No shame speech, no public humiliation—just grace. Jesus called him, Matthew followed, and he went on to write the Gospel of Matthew, which we still read today.

There is no one beyond the reach of God’s grace. And if we believe that, then how could we ever withhold our prayers for someone?

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

Matthew 5:44

That doesn’t mean we excuse evil. It doesn’t mean we don’t stand against wrongdoing. But it does mean that instead of wishing for their downfall, we pray for their redemption. Because honestly—how much would we have to hate someone to not want them to know God?

How much would we have to hate someone to be okay with them spending eternity without Him?

And if our hearts are in that place of hatred, are we really where we need to be with God?

We Don’t Need to Ask WWJD—Because We Already Know

Jesus prayed for the people who crucified Him.
Jesus forgave Peter after he denied Him three times.
Jesus turned Saul the persecutor into Paul the preacher.
Jesus called a corrupt tax collector and turned him into a disciple.
Jesus died for us while we were still sinners.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:8

So, when we come across that everyday jerk—or even someone truly lost in sin—we don’t need to wonder what Jesus would do.

We already know.

He would show grace.
He would pray for them.
He would offer them a way back to God.

And if that’s what He would do, then that’s what we should do too.

Conclusion

At some point, we’ve all been the jerk. We’ve all been the person who needed grace and probably didn’t deserve it. And yet, God gave it to us anyway.

So, the next time someone cuts you off, snaps at you, or acts like a certified Grade-A Jerk, take a deep breath.

✔ Remember they have a story you don’t know.
✔ Pray for their struggles, just like you’d want someone to pray for yours.
✔ And if they’re truly lost, pray for their salvation—because Jesus would.

And hey—if all else fails, maybe just keep your hands on the wheel and not in the air.

Closing Prayer

Father, help us to be people of grace. May we extend the same love, patience, and mercy to others that You have given to us. Transform our hearts so that we see people through Your eyes, and remind us that no one is beyond Your redemption. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Call to Action

This week, when you’re tempted to react in frustration, pause and pray instead. Grace isn’t just something we receive—it’s something we give. 🙌🔥