Introduction
Valentine’s Day. The annual tradition of overpriced flowers, desperate last-minute Walgreens runs, and enough chocolate to single-handedly keep the dentist industry booming. We all know the drill.
But beyond the Hallmark cards and fancy dinners, what does this day actually mean? Is love just about big romantic gestures, or is there something deeper we should be celebrating?
Cassie and I are quickly approaching two decades of marriage. At this point, I’ve nearly had more years of influence on her than her own father did—which is kind of terrifying when you think about it. Thankfully, she still reflects his values and personality, not mine.
But if I’ve learned anything in these (almost) 20 years, it’s that the world’s idea of love is way off base.
People love to say relationships are 50/50. What a crock. Some days it’s 70/30, other days 60/40. And sometimes? It’s 100/0.
Love is beautiful, but it is not enough. It won’t magically conquer all, it won’t triumph over every hardship by itself. Because love, on its own, is just a feeling—and feelings fade. Love has to be built alongside commitment, sacrifice, and above all, God’s design.
📖 Verse: “Let all that you do be done in love.” — 1 Corinthians 16:14
Love is not just a feeling—it’s a choice to honor God and your partner before and after marriage. And it’s a choice you make every single day.
My Story: A Secular Upbringing vs. My Wife’s Decision to Wait
I didn’t grow up in a household that followed God. He was mostly referenced after “I swear to” and usually before my full name.
We thanked God when someone else’s bad luck saved us from something worse, and we made promises to Him in exchange for toys, video games, and other meaningless things.
So when it came to relationships? I did what every other unsupervised teenager without a faith foundation does.
Marriage? Not on my radar. Saving myself for it? Not even in my vocabulary.
I grew up with a single mom. My stepfather didn’t come into my life until later, and even then, they were together for years before they got married. Marriage wasn’t something sacred in our house—it was a running joke about getting better insurance benefits.
Cassie, on the other hand, grew up in a faith-filled family. She knew Jesus from a young age, saw what a Christ-centered marriage looked like, and understood the value of waiting. She had seen her parents and grandparents lean on each other, fight through struggles, and put their trust in God’s design.
When she said she was waiting until marriage, she meant it. And while I didn’t get it at the time, I now see just how much wisdom there was in that decision.
📖 Verse: “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to Your word.” — Psalm 119:9
Valentine’s Day, Love, and Why Waiting Matters—A Parent’s Perspective
As parents, we want to guide our kids toward making wise, God-honoring choices—especially when it comes to relationships. But in today’s culture, love is often distorted into something driven by pressure, instant gratification, and fleeting emotions.
Young people today feel intense pressure—whether they’re in a relationship, single, or choosing to wait. Culture tells them love is about proving, chasing, or fearing they’ll miss out. But waiting isn’t about missing out—it’s about saving up for something greater.
The world teaches that love is about passion, chemistry, and emotional highs. But God’s love is different—it is patient, steady, and worth waiting for. Helping our children see the value of honoring God in their relationships now will prepare them for a love story that isn’t just exciting for a season but built to last a lifetime.
💡 Encouragement for Parents:
- Create an open dialogue. The world is shaping their views on love—make sure they’re also hearing God’s truth from you.
- Emphasize self-worth in Christ. Their value isn’t found in having a Valentine’s date but in who God created them to be.
- Lead by example. The way we love and honor our spouse teaches them more about real love than any lecture ever could.
📖 Verse: “We love because He first loved us.” — 1 John 4:19
Marriage After Kids—Keeping Love Alive
Fast-forward past dating, waiting, and the wedding day.
Then come the kids. The sleepless nights. The “Do you even like me anymore?” moments.
This is where most couples settle into “comfort mode”—the place where the romance fades, responsibilities take over, and you start feeling more like roommates than soulmates.
So how do you stay IN love—not just love your spouse, but stay in love with them?
💡 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive:
- Date your spouse—even when you don’t feel like it. Go out, stay in, plan something—just make time for each other.
- Put Christ at the center. A marriage built on mutual faith lasts longer than one built on just feelings.
- Find little ways to serve each other. Love isn’t just grand gestures—it’s doing the dishes, sending a sweet text, praying together.
- Check in emotionally. Don’t just ask how their day was—ask how their heart is.
📖 Verse: “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” — Ecclesiastes 4:12
Conclusion
Love isn’t just about a single day—it’s about the choices we make every day. Whether you’re guiding your children in relationships or nurturing your own marriage, the goal is the same: to love in a way that reflects Christ.
This Valentine’s Day, let’s focus on love that lasts. A love that waits, a love that honors, and a love that grows stronger with time.
📖 Verse: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” — 1 Peter 4:8
Reflection & Call to Action
Love isn’t just about grand gestures on February 14th—it’s about the small, daily choices we make to honor God and one another. Whether you’re guiding your children through the challenges of modern relationships or working to strengthen your own marriage, remember that love is more than a feeling—it’s a commitment, a sacrifice, and a reflection of Christ’s love for us.
💡 For Parents: Take time to talk to your children about what real love looks like. Share your own experiences—the successes and the struggles—and help them see that waiting, trusting, and honoring God’s design for relationships isn’t about restriction, but about protection and fulfillment.
💡 For Married Couples: Don’t let love become routine. Choose your spouse every day. Prioritize each other. Pray together. Invest in your marriage, not just today, but in the days, months, and years ahead.
💬 Now, I’d love to hear from you:
- What’s one way you can strengthen your marriage today?
- How do you guide your kids toward God-honoring relationships?
Drop a comment below or share this post with someone who might need it. Let’s build a culture of love that lasts! ❤️
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