Have you ever had that one person in your life—you know the one.
They don’t really ask for much, not out loud.
But somehow… they always need something.
And wouldn’t you know it? It’s always something you can provide.
They don’t beg. They don’t demand.
They just linger near your resources like a Wi-Fi vampire, draining your signal one need at a time.
But here’s the kicker:
This post isn’t really about them.
It’s about you.
It’s about me.
It’s about why we keep showing up when we’re running on fumes, and calling it “Christlike.”
🧠 Perspective Is Everything
Let’s be real:
A lot of people who “take advantage” of us don’t know they’re doing it.
They’re just surviving, and you happen to be a soft place to land.
You’ve trained them—maybe unintentionally—to believe you’ll always come through.
And that’s the part that hit me hardest writing this:
The problem isn’t always that they’re taking advantage—it’s that we keep allowing it.
✝️ What Did Jesus Actually Call Us To Do?
Yes, generosity is part of walking with Jesus.
“Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”
— Matthew 5:42
But He never said give blindly.
He said to give intentionally.
He said to give from the heart—not from guilt, fear, or habit.
“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion…”
— 2 Corinthians 9:7
And there’s that word again: decided.
If we’re giving because we’re afraid to say no, or because it’s easier than setting a boundary—that’s not faithfulness. That’s fear.
🚪 What About Boundaries?
Jesus flipped tables, walked away from needy crowds, and drew lines even with His own family.
“Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”
— Matthew 12:48
That wasn’t Him being cruel. That was Him being clear.
Boundaries aren’t rejection.
They’re clarity.
They’re a way of saying, “I love you enough not to let either of us stay stuck in this broken cycle.”
🤯 What If We Are the Problem?
I had to sit with this for a while before writing it.
Because the truth is, I’m the one who needs to change.
Not necessarily the person who’s always in need.
If I keep letting my resources—my time, my money, my emotional bandwidth—get drained by people who don’t even know they’re doing it…
That’s not their failure.
That’s mine.
That’s me giving without intention.
That’s me choosing burnout over boundaries.
That’s me robbing my family, my peace, and even the Kingdom of what I could be offering—because I’m too afraid to just say:
“No. Not this time.”
🔥 So What Do We Do With That?
Ask yourself:
- Am I giving out of love, or out of guilt?
- Is this helping someone grow, or helping them stay stuck?
- Have I confused enabling with generosity?
- Do I need to deal with my own need to feel needed?
Because let’s be honest—sometimes we keep helping not just for them… but to feel valuable ourselves.
🛑 Final Thought: Give With Grace, Not Guilt
If someone’s always needing you and you always show up—even when it’s unhealthy—that’s not their fault alone.
You trained that pattern.
You reinforced it.
And you have every right, and maybe even a divine obligation, to break it.
So next time your phone buzzes and you feel that familiar tug of obligation?
Pause.
Pray.
And ask:
“Is this obedience… or is this fear dressed up in a Jesus costume?”
🛐 Closing Prayer
Father, give me clarity in my generosity. Teach me to give like You do—freely, but not foolishly. Help me stop enabling patterns that steal life from both me and others. Let me love with boundaries, give with intention, and honor You with how I steward what You’ve placed in my hands. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
📣 Call to Action
If this hit home, good. It hit me too.
Take 10 minutes today and ask God where your giving has become guilt.
Where your love has become enabling.
Then do the brave thing—and set one boundary this week.
Just one.
Need help figuring out what that looks like? Reach out. I’m walking this road too.
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